The most misunderstood love language
The most misunderstood love language
There are five love languages identified by marriage counselor Gary Chapman, Ph.D: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and gift-giving.
However, gift-giving might be the most misunderstood one. There's an unspoken assumption that a person who prefers to receive displays of affection in the form of gifts must be materialistic or shallow—but in reality, that isn't always the case.
What does it mean to have gift-giving as a love-language?
According to Chapman's love language theory, a love language is simply a person's preferred way of receiving affection in a relationship. As of gift-giving love-language: they will feel most loved when their partner gives them tangible items.
To them, the act of giving a gift serves as a gesture of affection and care because it shows the person was thinking about you while you weren't around and wanted to find a way to make you smile. In other words, it's less about the specific thing that's being given and more about what that thing symbolizes.
Signs your love language is gift-giving
These are the TOP6 signs show that your love language is gift-giving:
- Words are nice, but a representation of love you can hold in your hands feels so much more real, romantic and meaningful.
- You treasure anything a partner gives you, whether it's the most expensive thing on your wish list or a single flower they plucked off the side of the road.
- You're the type of person who really cares about birthdays, anniversaries,... and you'd honestly be a little hurt if your partner didn't get you something really special.
- You also love a "just because" gift, i.e., when someone brings you a small present for no real reason other than that they were thinking about you.
- You don't expect your partner to pay for everything, but when they do it, it just makes you feel closer to them—like they're saying, you're my person, and I got you.
- When your partner gives you one of their most-used pieces of clothing, you live in it— because it was something of theirs that they clearly loved and chose to give it to you anyway.
However, these signs make other people misunderstand about the person who has gift-giving as their love language. And here's why:
They want expensive gifts
It's thought that the person who had gift-giving love language ONLY prefer expensive gifts. However, thing that makes them love gift-giving is not about money AT ALL but about the sentimentality behind the process of gift-giving.
To gift-giving person, this little book of your love story can even bring tears to their eyes because of the level of thoughtfulness, care, and effort behind the custom scrapbook that you spent days filling with memories and personalized love notes. It also proves: "The price tag doesn't matter when giving a gift".
Even small tokens of affection like - their partner picks them up a coffee on their way to meet up - can make their whole day!
Some small, affordable and meaningful gifts like these might be PERFECT for them this February love month:
From a simple custom photo puzzle 12 Reasons why I love you Valentine puzzles (you and your partner can spend your date night playing with the puzzles and recalling all the sweet memories). This gift also have a hidden message: "These reasons are why I can't live without you!"
To a cute little custom 3D photo lamp that can light up your partner's heart and make their sadness go away.
Gifts people are materialistic.
Some people assume that someone who has gifts as a love language must be materialistic, shallow, or more concerned about things than love. But that's not necessarily true.
For gifts people, gifts represent love. "The gesture of receiving a gift demonstrates that you are seen, cared for, and prized. You really thrive on the thoughtfulness behind the gesture and treasure nostalgic items," Hannah explains.
The bottom line.
Despite the misconceptions, having the gift-giving love language isn't materialistic or shallow. In fact, people who see gifts as one of the main ways to convey affection may even tend to be more sentimental, attached to nostalgia, and attentive to how much their partner thinks about them.
Generosity is important to a healthy relationship, and it has less to do with monetary value than with wanting to give someone you love care, thoughtfulness, and joy.